I recently overheard a woman say this to her friend, “I just celebrated my 50th birthday so now I’m going to coast…no more work-on-myself-personal-growth that is DONE…at this point I am who I am!”
Hhhhmmmm…. I thought.
I understand the desire to coast but in the sense of being in the position to let go of many of the responsibilities that have defined life for the last 20+ years.
I also understand becoming comfortable in one’s own skin and unapologetically being who you are. But her comment implied growth was no longer sought. I imagined she saw herself ‘done’ as in……fully baked.
That’s where my heart sank.
She has just entered a time when some of the greatest growth takes place, where she could potentially open in beautiful, full blossom and become all she was meant to be.
The journey of personal growth is like a giant goody basket.
This basket represents your life. In your goody basket is everything you are as an individual. You’re a gold mine of thoughts, emotions, passions, dreams, and virtues.
Inside is everything that has happened to you, successes, joys, fulfillments, disappointments, all you’ve ever done. Every day that goody basket has new things added and it’s continually growing and expanding.
Therefore, you are always in the process of becoming your full magnificent self whether you embrace it or not!
It is challenging to sustain a journey of personal growth.
Especially when there are life concerns involving family, health, relationships, or money. There is also a myriad of distractions. People, places, things, and technology (hello, iPhones and iPads) get in the way of moving forward.
They can keep you stuck in quicksand. Your thinking gets small and the size of your thinking determines the size of your results.
Personal growth can get lost inside distractions and the worries and anxiety that can intensify as we age.
Don’t let this happen! Reach out to other women, form a small group and agree to journey together. These groups (I’m a part of one) can be lifesavers and enrich your life in extraordinary ways.
Today, more than any other time in your life, you call the shots. You determine the quality of your life. It’s different for everyone, but you know it when you discover a more profound sense of self and purpose.
You deserve this. You owe it to yourself Sister!
(Re)Discover Self
In order to create a fulfilling and joyful life, it is important to understand yourself.
Midlife is the perfect time to embark on a journey of (re)discovery of self. How long has it been since you solely focused on yourself? Cat got your tongue? That’s ok. You’ve been a 5 star multi-tasker and multiple ball juggler for so long that you’ve lost your sense of time. I bet you’re similarly stymied to name 5 things you love to do – right?
So make the commitment now to get reacquainted with that person you call…ME!
Start with a simple but effective gift of a ten to fifteen-minute daily meditation. Just be alone with yourself. For most of us this is surprisingly hard to do.
You’ve been centering all your attention on others that being with one’s self is just…awkward. Howdy stranger!
But stick with it.
Try starting the reflective time by writing down 3 things you’re grateful for in your life. This practice has a way of softening and opening your heart immediately.
It anchors you in the present and that’s the place that tells you everything you need to know about who you are where to go next.
Overcoming Resistance
Taking time to self-reflect helps you overcome resistance in your life.
Resistance is a defense mechanism to anything new or unfamiliar and causes you to deny, resist or oppose an action. That includes growth and welcoming anything new into your life.
This state of mind is causes not only stress and anxiety but keeps you stuck in one place unable to explore beyond the walls of that compact space called My Comfort Zone.
Resistance is never helpful when you are on the amazing journey of living your life. It slows you down and mires you in struggle. Struggle is highly over rated and not necessary.
The antidote is to get up every day, every morning, one day at a time and make an intention to do the most important thing in your life.
To do something that brings you joy and satisfaction, gives you positive energy, raises your temperature, or fulfills a need. It is then that you can identify and get on with pursuing your passions and your dreams.
Discovering a Sense of Purpose
To create a clear path of personal purpose requires an understanding of your deepest concerns and longings. A sense of purpose in life not only produces lifelong happiness and vitality. It is also a necessary quality when you consider what legacy you want to leave.
A great exercise is to begin a journal or write a personal inventory so you can actually see your thoughts in a visual context. Here’s a guide for your work:
How to Create a Life of Passion
Looking for Meaning in Life Part 2
KEEP GROWING AND TRANSFORMING
A woman comes into full bloom as she goes through life
Never stop growing your human potential, a profound sense of self and purpose will manifest. You will experience fulfillment beyond anything you’ve known, joy will fill your heart.
Go Sisters!
If you have any friends who need to stop coasting and start living please share this with them. So they won’t miss one second of their great big beautiful life!
Thanks for this post Cheryl, it really spoke to me. In another year I’ll be 60 and, having recently retired, I’m finally finding time to get to know myself at a different, deeper level. I am definitely continuing to grow, push myself in new ways, learn and, perhaps most importantly, like who I am becoming as I head into this next, exciting decade. Keep up the great work you’re doing to coach this great community!
You have such an awesome spirit Diane! Today, tomorrow and next decade will be ahhh-mazing!